fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
