From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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