God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
