The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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