she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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