We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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