happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
