i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
