Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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