The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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