HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
