I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
