another moral hangover. fuck.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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