I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
