don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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