Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
