u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
