I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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