you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
