and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
