yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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