can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
