You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
