the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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