STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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