I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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