I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
