saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
