I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize