It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
