My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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