need another drink. this is the easiest way
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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