I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
