she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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