So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
