carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
