Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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