i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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