Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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