I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
