I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
PANTIES FOUND
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