I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
