i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
