i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
