He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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