i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
