i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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