if i can run in heels then i can drive
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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