More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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