consequently i now know what mace tastes like
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
